Posts tagged thoughts
Posts tagged thoughts
That’s actually a theory incorporated into M-theory (string theory)
Sorry, I just used the word theory three times.
Basically, there is a possibility, if string theory is correct and atoms are actually made up of tiny strings vibrating in 10 dimensions, we could have infinite parallel universes inside each and every quark contained in our body. We’re huge to them, and tiny to the universe WE are contained in.
How bout that? There could be billions upon trillions of creatures, things, worlds, inside each atom inside us. Infinite universes in one quark.
Mia your geek is showing.
This is why I study physics.
^ So many likes.
So I saw this gif of a tall man pulling a girl down into his lap. And I thought I would like a man do that to me. And then I wondered why they haven’t, in all my years of living. And I came to the conclusion that its probably because I’m 5’10 and about 170 pounds. Most guys I know are about 5’9 and a stone smaller. And then suddenly I had this epiphany. Most girls aren’t like me. Most girls are closer to 5’4 and 120 and they’ve probably been pulled down and tossed around all their life. And while for me, a guy pulling me down into his lap seems romantic and trusting (that he can feel confident to that with me), for them this must seem just plain domineering. Because I know if I don’t want to be there in his lap I can get out. I mean sure a 200 pound 6’5 monstrosity could probably (undoubtedly) pin me but I’m intimidating enough for him to think twice about it. So when I walk down the street and the dogs start barking I don’t think twice because I know its all bark and no bite. But other women, the-average-sized-been-tossed-around-all-my-life-ones, must see this behavior as something else completely. They are intimately aware of the fact that if this guy wanted to, he could exert his will so completely without any chance of them getting away under their own power. And that must be so scary.
And then I thought about all the guys I know who probably aren’t even aware of this fact. When they “holla” at a girl they are just having fun, doing something ballsy for the sake of being ballsy. It probably never even occurs to them that their behavior isn’t just normal douchebaggery but actually alarming. That so many frightening videos are playing in that girl’s head in which she inevitably loses. They’re completely oblivious to the inherent position of power they have and and the fact that they are exercising it.
And then I thought about how no one ever talks about these things because no one ever believes a person with power will voluntarily limit it. So no one ever knows.
When talking about this movie, people frequently bring up the fact that the message boils down to the fact that, in the end, it really does matter what you look like, and that the ugly guy won’t ever get the girl no matter how nice he is.
Well. Those people are wrong.
Think harder. There are three contenders for Esmeralda’s affections - Frollo, Quasimodo, and Phoebus. Frollo has zero affection for Esmeralda. No affection, no respect, no good feelings at all. All he feels is lust. And when he looks at her, all he sees are her faults (or what he believes are faults). He sees her a sexy gypsy who has spent her whole life in sin. And that causes him to feel lust. Because of this, he is incapable of seeing her good heart and truly decent soul. He sees a problem in need of fixing.
The audience wants Quasimodo to get the girl because he’s nice and she treats him well, and he deserves to catch a break for once in his life. And those things are all true. However. That line of thought essentially equates Esmeralda to his prize, to an object rather than a person. The problem with a Quasimodo-Esmeralda pairing is the exact opposite of Frollo. Frollo sees no good qualities in her, Quasimodo sees no bad qualities. He puts her on a pedestal and blinds himself to any mistakes she may make or flaws in her personality. He idolizes her in a way that is not healthy.
But Phoebus… Phoebus sits between the two: he sees her good, he sees her bad, and he can see the whole picture. He sees Esmeralda as she actually is - a person. She is not a sinful creature in need of reform and she is not a perfect specimen of humanity. Phoebus is the only one who can see that, and the only one who respects her as a person instead of a prize.
And that’s why the pretty guy gets the girl.
I adore this movie and I get so tired of that argument.
But, let us not forget that in the original version Phoebus basically wines and dines her until she gives out then watches her burn at the stake for his death (when he is very much alive). Quasimodo dies of a broken heart, clutching Esmeralda’s dead body.
So, I’ve been having some religious worries for a long time. While my faith in God will always be firm, the realities of religion- the corruption, the bias, the negative perceptions, the narrow-mindedness (within and towards)- have affected my personal understanding of religion and has caused me to become severely conflicted, to the point that I had sincerely lost faith in humanity.
To fix this, I sought to talk to people, to make deeper connections with the people I see as my friends. Because who better to restore your faith than the people you admire and love the most? But, I realized that my conversations with them aren’t going to fix this and that my pursuit of them, the inexcusable dogging, the repeating of conversations and issues, just pushes my friends away. And I am becoming more vicious then peaceful.
Peace of mind. To be content with my life and my choices. This something I actually yearn for. I have not been truly happy in 3 long years. Since childhood.
A weird thing happen to me today. I was working in lab watching everyone go to lunch, and I was suddenly not hungry. And hunger for me has always been an attainable condition. It was so sudden. And so weird. And so peaceful. When my co-worker asked me to lunch, I declined.
“I’m fasting,” I said. It wasn’t until I said it that I realized it was true.
I haven’t fasted in years. But the prospect seems …exciting. Thought-provoking. Peaceful. It stirs emotions in me that I haven’t deeply felt in a long time.
So I think its a good move. I’m not sure how long it’ll go on. Just looking on the internet has revealed The Daniel Fast, The Normal Fast, and the Total fast, all of lengths varying from 3 days to a month, and dictating different rules.
I don’t know if I’ll follow them. I honestly think that going with my own rules may not be so bad. As long as I keep focus on developing myself. On feeding my spirit, nourishing my soul. Understanding myself, my purpose, my perspective. On reaffirming my faith in God, and placing my life in His hands.
Maybe I’ll blog about it.
I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to get people to understand- to see things my way… not to change their opinion but to believe that its possible. And that’s unfair. I should be focusing on my understanding. On finding qualities in myself and nourishing them. Meditation. Self-reflection. Sanctity of body and soul. I need to build up my inner temple.